Updated: Sep 14, 2022
You are not the person you were a year ago or even a month ago, and that’s a good thing. If you took a break from dating because you were getting over a breakup, divorce, or simply wanted the time to focus inward then you already are a better version of yourself than you once were.
Embracing your past pain or mistakes are the exact stepping stones that will help you be a better person for yourself and for the partner you are meant to be with in your life. Here are FIVE PRO TIPS from an Expert Dating Coach to help you ease back into the dating world.
1. Accept your mistakes:
Being hard on yourself will not get you anywhere. If you found yourself in an unhealthy relationship, ignored the red flags or found yourself struggling to meet someone, that is simply part of your journey. Mistakes are a secret gift that allow us to learn something new or change ourselves for the better.
2. Nobody is perfect:
We all have flaws and that is what makes us the unique individual we are. As we accept that with ourselves, we must also accept that with our significant other. It's unlikely that someone will genuinely possess every characteristic you have ever wanted in a person. Be understanding that people have their faults and that it is NOT your responsibility to fix or change anyone. You should accept them for ALL of who they are. Yet, if you find yourself wanting to change a fundamental characteristic then you are most likely wasting your time and should move on.
3. It takes two people to create trust issues:
If you find that it's difficult to trust people, it's not entirely your fault. Trust is something that takes a long time to build and can be easily lost, but if you have had bad experiences in the past, or felt betrayed by someone close to you, it's normal for you to feel suspicious of others' intentions. Remember that not everyone aims to abuse your trust. Don’t let the fear of being hurt keep you from living a life filled with love.
4. Make an effort to understand your partner’s side:
Being part of a relationship means that you and your partner need to be on the same page with your core values. This includes having empathy and trusting one another. Try putting yourself in their shoes first before jumping to a conclusion or making assumptions. Sometimes what might seem obvious to you may be completely different from someone else’s point of view.
5. Instead of focusing on your flaws, focus on your amazing positive qualities!
No good comes from focusing on negative attributes. You are your own worst critic but most likely other people don’t even notice them. So when you are on a date, getting intimate, or opening up to a commitment remember that this person is here because of your amazing self! They feel a strong connection with who you are. Allow that positive energy to radiate and enjoy the journey.
You got this!
Adelle is an Expert Dating Coach for the modern world. Through years of being a professional matchmaker, fostering marriages, long term relationships, and decades of personal dating experiences, she developed a personalized and honest approach to finding love. Adelle focuses on identifying patterns, finding quality partners, uncovering your authentic needs, and how to establish a happy and healthy relationship. She lives in Los Angeles with her hubby and two sons. She would love to hear from you.
Adelle Kelleher | Dating & Relationship Coach | email@example.com |
www.coachinghearts.com | @coachingheartsconsulting